|"...You people have more tenacity than I do stamina."|
|"I got your nose!"|
|The vultures reflect on possible better homages.|
While this mystery goes unsolved, Igor begins his first story about two adoption agents that are heading to an unorthodox appointment with potential adoptive parents in the middle of the night in a castle in the woods. The male adoption agent is skeptical, while the female adoption agent is female. Also, she mentions feeling some sort of unexplainable need to accommodate the potential adoptive parent dude she spoke with because, oh, she doesn't know. She just did. Once they arrive to the castle, it is clear this story is creeping up on very recognizable vampire-type territory. Two pale people with fierce hair and lots of flowing clothes welcome them in shitty Romanian accents. Yep. These Euro-trash dick farts are clearly vampires (and bad character actors). Once the agents enter the castle, the female agent continues to be charmed by the male
|"Velcome to our humblaahe ablaahode!"|
|"Why not just kill you guys? Gross. We only drink the|
blood of unwanted children."
|"Mom, Grandma is trying to|
kiss us with a shotgun again!"
Shit Flying At Your Face: 6
Dead Old People: 2
Children Threatened With Violence: 3-6
Vaudeville References: 5?
Animatronic Things: 6
Times The Talking Skeleton Actually Creeped Me Out: 3
Graveyard Scenes: 2
Children Fostered By Vampires: 6
Twilight Zone References: 8
Santa Cameos: 1-2