Friday, February 25, 2011

Nevermind, Rewind Movie Of The Week

None of these people or these things are in this movie.
This might be the most out-right scandalous post on TEC yet to date, Enemaniacs!  I know some shit and I'm calling people out.  Turns out, there exists an even shittier take on the story that is 1996's JERRY MAGUIRE which means that Cameron Crowe may have ripped off the entire idea for that Oscar-winning film from whoever wrote 1986's BODY SLAM!  This might be fact but probably not BODY SLAM which stars not Tom Cruise, but Faceman from the A-Team also known as a guy named Dirk Benedict and tells the story of a douchebag agent who owes some angry people a lot of money and is constantly looking for anything he can promote in order to make the money back, but of course in truly movie-like style, he fails several times in alleged humorous ways, finds a beautiful girl that believes in him for no reason and eventually realizes the clients he's cared the least about save him in the end.  See!  It's totally that other movie!  The trailer itself isn't online, but it is attached to a string of trailers at the end of some VHS movie someone posted on YouTube, so enjoy the BODY SLAM trailer along with a bunch of other gripping trailers by CBS Home Video below!

"You had me at purple suit."
The possible plagiarism by a better movie is the least thing wrong with this movie though.  First of all, the VHS cover is totally misleading.  There are no naked boobs in this movie nor is there "sex" or "rock n' roll".  What this tag line incorrectly refers to is the fact that the main douchey agent character, M. Harry Smilac eventually stars to rep for a couple of pro wrestlers, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and another dude.  When both the shitty band he works for and the wrestlers are barely making money, he comes up with the idea of "Rock n' Roll Wrestling" which just means he has the shitty band, The Kicks, play their shitty music during wrestling matches and the kids go nuts for it! 

A Down and Out in Beverly Hills rip off. CLEVER!
In the end, the clients who believe in Harry even though he doesn't give a shit about them end up saving his ass and he starts to appreciate them.  I assume this anyway, I didn't get to the end.  The jokes were stupid, the stereotypes weren't even amusing and most importantly, there was no SEX or ROCK N' ROLL.  There was barely any wrestling and Rowdy Roddy keep his rowdiness to a minimum.  BORING.  If I had seen the film's poster, I probably could have figured out the sleazy Hollywood 80's comedy turd this was and avoided it all together.  Which you, dear reader, absolutely should.         

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