|"...What's that smell? Dookie?!"|
|The group looks on as Brell shows |
them the poster he keeps above his bed.
Rip: "...I won't be around when this check clears!"
|Hulk scares the turds out of someone.|
Rip: "...What's that smell?"
Bawling Limo Driver: "...Doooookiee."
Since I think this scene best speaks for itself, check out the literal shittiness below.
When the whole Plan A (aka send skinny guys to beat up a body-builder in cowboy boots) doesn't work, Brell responds by sending in a be-titted mole by the name of Samantha (Joan Severance), who under the guise of being Rip's new boss, half-assedly tries to seduce him by taking him to French restaurants, acting really standoffish and wearing gigantic lacy granny panties to bed once. Awkward accidental touching, really short shorts and Moonlighting-esque sexual tension ensues. Thankfully for Samantha and her unmotivated attempts, she had Rip at not fat with tits and didn't need to do much else.
Hands down, my favorite scene in the film is when Samantha and Rip, who are on a business trip together suddenly find out, WHOOPS, they accidentally booked a hotel room with only one bed. Awkward. Samantha, who is understandably distraught, laments about this while hiding in the bathroom meanwhile our ingenious Rip uses a bed sheet and wrist wrapping tape to create a D.Y.I. barrier between them on the bed. Samantha, playing the part of the coy and uninterested woman, naturally steps out of the bathroom in a lacy bra and pantie set while Rip rivals this with some inappropriate bed wear of his own including a tie dye red tank top and the tiniest red shorts with slits on the side you would ever not want to see on Hulk Hogan. Ever. After some rom-com jests about sticking to "your side of the bed," Samantha finally falls asleep only to be awoken by Rip shaking the bed while doing push ups in a red thong. AAAHHH!! After she complains, Rip jumps back into bed only to break the bed frame and WHOOPS, send Samantha rolling on top of him. She yells some unnecessary comments about him doing this on purpose and Rip's response is my absolute favorite quote of the movie.
Rip: "...Just forget it! No walls are stronger than the ones you've already built!"
|They kind of just look like two Bros singing a song.|
Rip: "...It's Harley and me and you in the tree!"
God, I love this movie. Since the whole rape fiasco didn't work out, Brell decides instead to start his own wrestling show to court Rip which will be way more hardcore than the pussies on that one wrestling show he's already doing. Brell finds the answer to his prayers when he visits a piss-stained, white trash dive bar whose entertainment involves hillbillies fighting in a ring until one of them doesn't get back up. Brell decides to market this kind of "no-holds-barred" fighting match for his network and gives it the limp-dick title, "Battle of the
|Soon after, many lost their lives in what |
became known as the Zeus suit riots.
Rip's Wardrobe Changes: 7
Moments of Palpable Sexual Tension: 6
Skeezy Hogan Smirks: 8
"The Ripper" aka "The Shocker" Is Flashed: 11
Sports Film Cliches: 9
Dudes Beaten By Zeus: 7
The Caged Little Person Throws Change Into The TV Guys Beer Glass: 3
Rip Defies Gravity: 3
Time Someone Says, "Rip 'Em Rip!": 23
Rip Growls/Grunts: 18
Inappropriately Tight Clothes On Rip: 9
Samantha Falls On Top Of Rip: 2
Hillbillies Make Fun of TV Execs: 10
Samantha Is A Damsel In Distress: 4
Zeus' Lazy Eye Looks At Screen: 4
Poop Is Seen Or Mentioned: 3