Thursday, August 12, 2010


"Black face" isn't racist if you're a monster, right?

Release the Crack Nail!
Be all anticipating in anticipation TEC readers, because Episode 3 of The Enematic Cinematic Podcast will be up in mere days!  In this third and most personal episode yet of the TEC podcast, we viewed, with the help of some bottles of wine, beer and poprocks, 1989's horror/sci-fi/comedy/political satire Monster High in it's entirety and that is a feat my friends.  A feat!  Monster High, starring some people and possibly a Beau Bridges/Liam Neeson hybrid person, tells the tale of the Monster in Charge (I think the title is supposed to be self explanatory, but it still makes no fucking sense) who notices, in between banging chicks with giant aerolae that the scheduled demise of Earth has not happened.  What gives?  Turns out, the not so reliable Mr. Armageddon (aka Beau Neeson) has been too preoccupied on planet Earth molest/murdering thirty year-old teenage girls with his 8-inch crack nail at Montgomery Sterling High to follow through and destroy the place (possibly with the aforementioned crack nail, that thing is deadly dawg!).  Overlord guy must then send two bumbling alien things, Gloom and Doom, (CLEVER!) down to the high school with a doomsday machine, aka a basketball sphere of imprisonment to imprison Armageddon and well, let's just say rape, fake frenchness, monster weed monsters, condom zombies wackiness ensues!  It eventually comes down to a basketball game between monsters and humans and who ever wins, doesn't die and may live free of crack nail molestation forever!

Actually, there is at least one notable actor in this film, David Fuhrer who you may or most likely don't at all remember from the 1980's as a late night talk show regular and commercial actor known for his ability to speak backwards.  Yep.

David plays Mel Anoma and yes, every character got their name from a Garbage Pail Kids card.  If you actually watch this film, pay attention to David's night stand in one of his many wake-violently-from-it's-all-a-dream-scenes.  You may see his hawked 80's product, a board game that involves, you got it, words spelled backwards!

Nerds playing sports, this place IS wacky!
But I digress...On this nostalgic journey into fond memories of pre-bitterness, post puberty and hymen intactness are three of my good friends from, get the theme, high school!  Carina Simmons, a local animator and all-around creative genius (Carina's Animation Blog!) who has also been the Riker to my Picard (star fleet rankings excluded) since sophomore year at unnamed lame-ass high school!  Also bribed with beer in this episode, are two of my buddies since 17 (also known as that "NOFX is fucking awesome" period of my life) Jimsan Dustan and Tony Fantozzi whom are also members of the kick ass punk rock band Poop Attack!  Old times were mentioned, pop rocks were popped and we might have tried to rap the wrap up...again.  I'll have this one up in a day or so, but until then, enjoy this charming microwave radiation PSA/clip from 1989's Monster High

1 comment:

  1. Ha, Star Trek reference! I'm seeing a future Photoshop project...