First off, let me begin by saying, welcome to America! In America, (pronounced U! S! A! Motherfucker!) we care about a couple of things.
Bargain movie packs, somewhat like Ye Old Country Buffets, are a scam as old as time. Quantity over quality. Perhaps because I was raised with the mentality that twenty cheap pieces of shit as Christmas presents from the dollar store were better than one quality $20 item that I actually wanted, I own more than a few of these. Also, I went to Sizzler for every birthday from ages 5-12 because fuck real restaurant limits, I want pizza and mashed potatoes in the same meal! The real challenge with "value" packs is to find more than one film in the within that is actually watchable.
Of course, this means traversing through 47 other possibly straight-to-video-shelf turds just to find a mediocre movie. For many, finding the dedication for this type of detective work is nearly
Chilling Classics - 50 Movie Pack
Drive-in Massacre (1977)
Mostly released under the what the fuck title Alien Zone, this quaint little nugget is about an adulterous husband that gets stranded in an unknown city at night in the rain and is taken in by a kindly/creepy old funeral home director who makes him a cup of coffee and brings him into that place in the basement he keeps all the dead bodies. He opens each coffin and tells the weary guy yarns about each dead person and how they came to be in wooden boxes in his basement. I generally love the stories within a story genre. This one isn't as good as Monster Club, but it's interesting enough. The ending seemed pretty predictable from the start, but though I was ultimately right on how shit played out, there is a bit of a twist to it.
Horror Classics - 8 Movie Pack
Horror Classics - 8 Movie Pack (Again)Snowbeast (1977)
Sometimes I'm sold on title alone, but those titles don't always live up to their...titles. Snowbeast is exactly what you would imagine. Here's a shocker, it was a made for T.V. movie so kind of like an after school special in that way. Just like learning one beer is too many with Val Kilmer, sometimes you shouldn't ski near lonely ape creatures. It only makes them jealous.
I didn't actually purchase this one. My mom bought it for my birthday (thanks Mommy!). I'm not sure what these are the top ten of or at least what the criteria for the list was. I retract that statement because I think the back says something clever about them being the top "Tromatic" films as picked by Toxie himself (the affectionate nickname for equally as affectionate Toxic Avenger). The collection consists of some mildly entertaining schlock Croaked, Demented Death Farm Massacre and some real shitty bullshits such as the completely improperly packaged Dead Dudes in the House (see The Great VHS Cover Art Swindle! although presented here on DVD). Somewhat surprising is that within this tin can covered in
The Newlydeads (1987)
This bunch seemed obvious enough, a collection of Blaxploitation and Kung Fu movies with women who kick ass despite the fact that they are unfortunately women. TNT Jackson, Get Christie Love, Sister Street Fighter, all films I had seen at some point or another, but SHUT THE DOOR, my friends! Turns out, there was a fucking wild card in this movie pack deck and a pretty SAVAGE wild card at that!
High Kicks! This thing is so hard to find that no trailer even exists on the technological plain! If I'm a liar and or lazy and you find one, let me know!